Learning How to Lose

In a time when everyone gets a trophy, I am finding more and more students really can't handle losing a game, or not being the BEST at something.  Thankfully, Julia Cook has come up with this great book to help us address this.  In the book it refers to "you can't win a coin toss every time," so I ran with that and decided to help kids learn how to lose.  In this activity, I pair the students up, and one decides who is heads and one decides who is tails.  I give them one minute and let them play heads or tails as many times as they can.  They mark who won on each round.  Whoever has the most wins after the minute is over, wins the round.  Then I ask the students who did not win, to sit at the carpet.  We proceed to play again until only their is only one winner.  That winner gets to pick a prize out of my prize bag.  This is a risky lesson I must say, but it's proven to be very effective if I preceed the lesson with the following disclaimers.

1.  There will be only one winner today, and we will be okay if we lose.  I make them repeat that "I will be okay if I lose." 
2. If you lose today you must remember "Today just isn't your day."  I make them repeat this as well,
3. Let's come up with some appropriate strategies to help us deal with losing,  
1.   deep breath
2.   walk away
3.   positive affirmations
4. Guidance is a safe place to make mistakes, or feel upset, so this is practice for real life.  I will be here to support you if you do get upset.

What happens next differs from class to class but the life lessons are powerful!  I have had students who normally get super upset, see that they can be okay if they lose.  They are learning how to be gracious when they lose and shake hands with the winner and say "Good Game."  I have had kids who are poor winners, lose how to win graciously as well.